Van Gogh is So In Right Now (Recovery, Week 1)

The surgery seems to have been a success, although we won't know the full results for nearly 6 weeks. For those who don't know, I had a tympanoplasty performed last Wednesday on my left eardrum. I also apparently have a small ear canal, so they couldn't access the eardrum via the canal and had to make a big incision and go in from the back.


Recovery has been a mixed bag so far. The pain was at first pretty manageable. For the first few days, I didn't really even notice it and kept it at bay through a mix of prescription pain killers, sleep, and high CBD/low THC weed. I also took Wednesday-Friday off work, and Saturday-Sunday off life (basically) and pretty much just slept and watched Netflix. It was a big deal when I walked around the block.


Leaves on my walk around the block. Tiny victories.

This week, however, life slapped me in the face with my return to work on Monday. And holy shit does my ear hurt. I tried to tough yesterday out with just Tylenol Extra Strength because I figured prescription pain killers (opioids at that) and high level functioning don't work out so well. Turns out pain isn't conductive to work either.

The other complication from this surgery is the fact that I can't hear out of half of my head. If you've ever gone swimming and gotten water lodged deep into your ear, you know that feeling of having your ear feel really full. Well, that's how my left ear fulls 100% of the time right now. Intentionally. For the next 6 weeks. It's driving me bat shit insane.

 I know that a key component to all of this is keeping a positive attitude and outlook. And I need to keep reminding myself of this. It's been made easier by friends bringing me deliveries of food, chocolate, pickles, home cooked meals, and pints and pints of ice cream. I am swimming in ice cream right now, and it's glorious.  So, thank you friends. I love you all.

Even though I might not be ready to hang out with you, please don't forget about me.

Cake, cake, cake, cake!!!!

When You Can't Do What You Love

So, it's been a long time since I posted. I think there are reasons, I but I can't really think of them. Camping, backpacking, life, depression- it seems like every time I have an idea of what to write, by the time I get home to actually write, the ideas I had are gone.

Honestly, the biggest reason is work. Since transitioning into my new position at work, all of my brain power is used up at there. Developing strategy, thinking critically, and actually using my head for what it's there for doesn't leave spare time/energy/power to write. Which is a really nice thing. I come home in the afternoon, make dinner. meditate, do yoga, sleep, exercise, masturbate, clean, whatever I want, but usually not brain intensive. I don't have time for The Bikery anymore (sorry), don't have time for a whole lot of dating, and don't have time for much of anything else. 

I have however, up until recently, managed to keep biking part of my routine. Bike camping, biking to work, long rides, etc., part of my life.

That's all going to change on Wednesday. I'm having a tympanoplasty procedure on my left ear. They are removing my ear and rebuilding my eardrum, which will require me drastically alter my lifestyle. I can't ride my bike for up to 8 weeks, can't fly, can't vigorously dance, and can't do anything dangerous for a long time.

I've tried to imagine what my life will look like for the next 8 weeks.

No bikes. At all. 

My friends have very generously stepped up to the plate and signed up to bring me meals during my recovery, which I sincerely appreciate. 

I don't even know how to say thank you. I guess I'll cross that bridge when it comes.


Exciting Job Changes!

I guess I can finally announce this change in blog land, since my desk is being moved tomorrow! I've accepted a new position at my company- Global Environmental Manager! I'll be in charge of all of Expeditors' sustainability strategy and policy, which is super crazy exciting! I'll also get to work with customers to track their carbon footprint, come up with strategies to optimize our logistics network to reduce it, and work with partners to reduce our overall impact on the environment.

Not going to lie- for the first time in my professional life, I'm really excited to wake up and go to work every day. Feels like I'm finally making a difference with my job, which is what I set out to do with my womens studies degree 8 years ago.

Fuck yeah. I might go out and ride bikes and bring home 2 IPAs and a bag of chips, but I also help 8 Fortune 500 company's reduce their carbon footprint. Who cares if I don't have my shit together personally?

This week I also got to ride down a 100 foot slip and slide, wrestle in a pool of jello, and ride with 2000 other people. Life is good right now.


Shattering the Glass Ceiling

The only thing I ever wanted to be when I was a kid was the President of the United States. Seriously. 

I wrote letters to G.W. Bush when he was in office, detailing my plans to be the first woman President, wrote about it in school essays, and was never shy about my aspirations. I got involved in politics from an early age too, voicing my opinion to the City Council, writing letters to the editor of the local newspaper, and by and large being an involved young citizen.

Somewhere along the way things changed and I lost most of that fire, but, I have to say, it's pretty darn magical to watch the DNC this week, as Hillary finally breaks through that glass ceiling and takes the reigns of the Democratic Party. If you haven't seen this (albeit super cheesy) video of her symbolically breaking the glass ceiling, give it a watch:

Something she says towards the end really irks me though. She says "and if you're a little girl out there watching, you could be next."

No- Hillary! You have to be 35 to run for President.  I don't want to wait until the little girls watching you grow up to be our next woman President. How about the 30 year old women watching you, or the 40 year olds, or the 50 year olds? 

Let's make change happen now!